Saving Hollywood Studios

I spent most of this morning touring a sunny, dry, and moderately crowded Hollywood Studios. Apparently, I missed the Great Studio Flood of 2022 probably because I was dead asleep  by 8pm when the rain began.  

People like to speculate about a themed land at Disney’s Hollywood Studios in the small, narrow area between Sunset Blvd and Animation Courtyard. I’ve seen stories about recreating the town from Coco (Santa Cecilia) with the existing Rock N’ Roller Coaster being rethemed to the chase scene through the Land of the Dead, Monsters’ Inc. (not as farfetched as it sounds given their new show on Disney+) anchored by a “Closet Door Coaster” or even a clone of Cars Land from Disney’s California Adventure (as there’s already a Cars themed attraction hiding the RNR ride building)!!

There are even people who want them to recreate the village from Encanto (which is already depicted as a straight line in the film). Theme Park Tourist has an interesting ride idea… but they’d have to completely replace the aging RNR as there is no obvious chase/action scene for them to replicate as a coaster. However, there are a few options I haven’t seen bandied about for that area:  

• Raya and the Last Dragon is kind of an odd option for a themed land, but if Universal Studios Beijing can have a Kung-Fu Panda Land, then Disney can definitely make a Raya area work. Plus, as an action movie, it’s particularly well-suited for a coaster. Bonus, guests get to ride in cute Sisu vehicles. It also lends itself to a stunt show, but theme park fans would riot if Disney tried to replace Indy at DHS.
• Much like Raya, Big Hero 6 is a big action film with an interesting setting that lends itself perfectly to both a coaster while also being a fun enough diversion in its own right. The end of the acclaimed animated series (2017-2021), the premiere of the Spin-off Baymax series later this year, and the long-awaited sequel means the land won’t be dated as quickly as others on this list.
• Luca may not inspire much in the way of coasters, but the plot of the film has a potential ride built right into it – La Grande Corsa! Plus, Portorosso would be a picturesque town to walk – and take pictures – through.
• Probably the least likely on my list, but Toronto from Turning Red would be an interesting place to explore. Like Luca, the plot doesn’t appear to be action heavy (as it wasn’t released when I was writing this), but one of the junior readers’ books is literally called Mei’s Wild Ride so clearly something “ride-worthy” happens in the film.

This, of course, leads to a problem – two of the three attractions in the destination courtyard (“Voyage of the Little Mermaid” and the rather sad looking Star Wars Launch Bay) are not operating at this time. One possible solution would be to add an entrance to the Sunset Blvd side and retheme the existing M&G areas to the new IP, likely either Cars or Coco. The original entrance would be kept with the LB Theater taking over the “preview” from One Man’s Dream (a job they don’t want anyway) with the surrounding exhibit space being used to showcase art and props from the film (much like it’s original “Magic of Disney Animation” attraction).

Okay, great! Got the expansion figured out and reconfigured SWLB – all that’s left is the underutilized Little Mermaid theater – and, yes, I have an idea for THAT too. You might even call it a “Vision” – specifically one that involves felt puppets and a bunch of “cheap 3D tricks.”

Wait a second. What does Muppet Vision 3-D have to do with animation? About as much as SWLB does. The point is, it’s a theater, so transitioning from a live show to a movie shouldn’t be all that hard. The REAL hard part is resisting the urge to then absorb Muppets Courtyard into Galaxy’s Edge. Whereas if you move Star Tours into SWGE and then add its existing plot to Muppet Courtyard, toss in the adjacent Backlot Express and you are looking at some sizable real estate!!

Moving Muppet Vision 3-D to Little Mermaid theater would probably take considerably less time then dismantling/rebuilding the Star Tours area in SWGE. So, they would need a quick overlay, preferably using the existing NYC facades until they get further along in construction of a more permanent hypothetical theme. While they have multiple options for this permanent theme (which I’ll get to next), there’s really only one for the overlay – and it’s the reason I started writing this post: to give this park some Soul… albeit temporarily.

NYC? Check. Pizza? Check. All that’s missing is the ninja turtles.

However, if they were REALLY ambitious, they’d close the courtyard tomorrow, hang some “paper” lanterns, convert the barely used pizza place into a Chinese restaurant, rename the Muppet Store as the “Daisy Mart” and replace the Miss Piggy fountain with a panda one. Add a panda statue to the balcony, some “4*Town” posters in the windows, and hang some Canadian flags – move the preview from One Man’s Dream into the now vacant Muppet Theater – BOOM – instant Turning Red overlay!!

So, assuming the Sunset Blvd extension goes to Cars, Coco, Luca, or Encanto (probably be a better fit for World Showcase), then the area currently housing Muppets Courtyard/Star Tours would need to be as grand as its namesake avenue. The three movies that instantly jump to mind in that regard are: Raya and the Last Dragon, Big Hero 6, Onward, or Monsters Inc. Throw Wreck-It Ralph into the mix for a bit of color next to the drab, rusted industrial feel of Galaxy’s Edge.

Admittedly, Raya would be a hard sell for DHS as it has to compete with SWGE as well as both the Chinese Theater and a rumored standalone ride in Adventureland (I’m personally disappointed they didn’t make the sunken boat in the rewritten Jungle Cruise “Boun’s Shrimporium”). That’s not to call it impossible as its effectively two films in one with MK ride likely focused on the chase sequence in Tail and DHS being themed to either Heart [the Capitol and home of the opening action sequence) or, more likely, Talon [the marketplace where she chases Noi/the 3 monkeys] so they can include restaurants and shops. #Stockholder

The idea of a Monsters Inc. area appeals to me (even if it would mean carting “Monsters Inc Laugh Floor” over from MK, making the entrance to Tomorrowland effectively empty), I miss Streets of America and while Grand Avenue is nice – it’s only ONE side of ONE block!! This means if they chose BH6, they can effectively reuse their San Francisco sets from SOA (with possible easter eggs for Inside-Out and UP) leading up to the iconic mural of downtown San Fransokyo with the ride on one side and a walkway around the other towards the main Nerd Lab where the Backlot Express is now SFIT Cafeteria and a nearby “Student Bookstore” (aka the exit to the ride) sells BH6/SFIT merch.

I won’t get into either Onward or Wreck-It Ralph as I haven’t seen either film, but I’m sure their fans can list possible ideas in the comments section. I probably won’t see them, but, then again, Disney won’t see this story either…

Most overrated Disney classics (according to MSN)

Someone named Charlie Cobain posted a slideshow to MSN News (via a site called Espresso Communications) about the “Most Overrated Disney Classics.” This isn’t a listing of critical flops or box office failures, simply movies that the author feels get more praise than they deserve (yes, I disagree with most of these).

1. Snow White and the Seven Dwarves (1937) – which he gives props for inventing the genre, but says the film “has a horrible message for young girls” (you could say that for ANY Disney animated movie up to the late-80s)
2. Fantasia (1940) – “While this 125-minute film is undeniably a work of art, some may find it a tad long and boring due to its lack of a plot.”
3. Dumbo (1941) – A lot of people – including Walt Disney himself – loved this moving, tragic and ultimately inspiring movie… even if some of it’s plot points haven’t aged well.
4. Bambi (1942) – “The only drawback is the film is a bit dull for adult viewers.”
5. Cinderella (1950) – This is both my mom and nieces’ favorite film, but Corbain calls the storyline “flat” and “unexciting” saying that the (human) characters – including the title character herself – “lack any kind of personality.”
6. Peter Pan (1953) – Okay, this one I’ll agree with him on as I remember cringing watching this as an eight-year-old. This is one of those films that D+ had in mind when they wrote the “outdated cultural depictions” warning that appears before most of their older films (though they cut/changed some of these scenes in later releases). I have a soft spot for the ride at MK.
7. Lady and the Tramp (1955) – Cobain rightly calls the film both “endearing” and “memorable,” he has less than kind things to say about the “racist” depictions of Aunt Sarah’s devious Siamese and the “outdated stereotypes” of the pound dogs.
8. Sleeping Beauty (1959) – Cobain opines that the film is “lackluster from both a storytelling and artistic point of view.” Like Snow White, Bambi, and Cinderella, this is just on here as filler.
9. One Hundred and One Dalmatians (1961) – Cobain claims this film was the result of Disney “cutting corners after the commercial failure of Sleeping Beauty” (probably not quite true as these films take several years to animate).
10. The Jungle Book (1967) –Another filler as even the author praises: “memorable characters… and catchy songs,” but includes it on the list due to its supposedly racist/stereotyped depictions of certain characters.
11. The Aristocats (1970) – This is one of the few films on this clickbait list that I’m going to agree with as other films go out of their way to have a “timeless” quality, this film bangs viewers over the head with its sixty’s aesthetics (both audio and visual) – despite the story taking place around 1910.
12. Robin Hood (1973) – Fuck you, I loved this film as a kid. Despite your quoting some negative reviews from its time, this movie still holds up better than some modern versions of the tale.
13. The Little Mermaid (1989) – Having a ride at both Disneyland and MK doesn’t make the movie “overrated.”
14. Beauty and the Beast (1991) – “A tale of a young woman with Stock…” *yawn* we’ve heard that joke before. Get better material.
15. Aladdin (1992) – honestly, now you’re grasping at straws here as even the video game for this movie was well received. Also, I loved the animated series as a kid.
16. Pocahontas (1995) – I never saw more than 15 minutes of this movie, but boy-oh-boy do I remember the BACKLASH it got from the media, historians and various Native American groups.
17. Dinosaur (2000) – why is this movie even ON this list? Literally, the only reason anyone’s ever heard of it is because of the ride at DAK… which has absolutely NOTHING to do with this film.
18. Frozen (2013)—Okay, so this one actually DOES belong on this list, not because it was drastically over-exposed in the years following its release, but because the plot showed every male character as either evil or stupid (sometimes both) which is a terrible message for boys!!
19. Moana (2016) – “overrated?” Hardly. This was easily one of the best animated films they’ve released in the past 20yrs. Yes, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, you’re welcome!
20. Frozen II (2019) – I don’t include sequels on lists like this, but if the original was over-played, then the sequel was clearly a victim of its own relentless hype. Hype it couldn’t possibly achieve – regardless of how good the plot, characters or songs were.

Notable omissions: I’m not saying these are inherently “bad” films per se, but it is weighted towards movies I dislike or otherwise fail to meet their relentless hype or never-ending critical praises (not every animated movie needs to be compared to “Toy Story”).

This list only includes original films – not sequels – and doesn’t include films released in the past five years (as they aren’t old enough to be marketed as “classics”). Also, most fully animated Disney films released prior to 1977 are already on Cobain’s list.

• The Rescuers (1977)
• Oliver and Company (1988)
• Toy Story (1995)
• A Bug’s Life (1999)
• Atlantis: The Lost Empire (2001)
• Treasure Planet (2002)
• Finding Nemo (2003)
• Cars (2006)
• Brave (2012)
• The Good Dinosaur (2015)